Taking care of horses isn't work like what I'm going to be doing producing your show," she said. "Brian, Gypsy loves me. She doesn't know what a terrible person I am. Even though I tell her and cry in her mane she doesn't even care. I know you say the same thing, but when I doubt ... when I can't stand myself a moment longer ... I trust Gypsy to love me." I love you, Rhonda," I whispered."I know, Brian. I believe you. I love you, too. I don't know why it is so much easier to believe in Gypsy's love than a person's. Any person. I would give my tears, rip out my hair, lay open my chest and rip out my heart if I could just be a real person again. If I could just love and be loved without questioning."I dropped the brush in Jingo's stall and leaned against the big horse. Those words. It could be that she just adapted them from reading the poem I was going to recite in competition tomorrow.Or maybe it was Rhonda who wrote it.Cassie, Josh, Jen, Court, and Sam rode with me to Bloomington in. Even if he had, he would have assumed (as I did) that something would happen that night. When we finished the third game, he finally gave up and did a fake stretch and yawn."I'm bushed. I think I'll hit the sack. Want me to leave the light on for you?" He looked at me."Sure," I said. "I'm not tired yet."His eyes bugged out a little, probably because he couldn't help but think about what I might do with his mother to get tired, but he recovered."Okay, then," he said. He got up and went to his mother, who gave him the same good night hug and kiss she had every night I had known them."I love you," she said, squeezing him."I know," he replied. He stood up, looking nervous. "What if I can't sleep?"She got up and went to the shelf where all her art books were arranged. She pulled out a big, thick one, about how to draw human figures. It had lots of step by step drawings, some of which consisted of only one or two lines."If you have trouble getting to sleep, read this," she said, handing it.
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